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Self – Awareness at 70+

By April 10, 2015December 10th, 20209 Comments



The only setting, in which I’m not aware of being the far oldest person, is in the waiting room of my pulmonologist’s office.

waiting roomThe reflection of myself seen in the glass door of our microwave or the window of a car, can cause me to gasp.

self reflection cartoon

I cannot name one contemporary musical group since the 1980’s, the era I had teenagers living at home.

music group

It’s best to pretend it’s never warm enough to get into a bathing suit, and most definitely never with witnesses.

bathing suit

Restaurants are almost always too loud for me to attempt or desire to carry on a conversation with anyone.

noisy restaurant

I realize that seemingly random acts of kindness towards me are motivated by the fact that I must look needy.

Time’s carousel is moving far too quickly, as if being controlled by a madman on speed.

madmanThings I distinctly remember as having taken place 6 months ago, actually took place at least 18 months ago.

When I scroll down on an online site to find the year I was born, (1941) it seems as if the list will run out of years before it gets to my year of birth.  Always a shock.

I’ve lost two inches in height and added two inches onto my waist. I’m losing aka(lost) my jaw.


I laugh at myself more easily.


I don’t sweat the small stuff as easily as in my younger days.

I’ve successfully avoided using the expression “in my day.”

I see children as miraculous beings. I see childhood as an instant in time.


I take much less for granted.  Much, much, less.

I no longer fear speaking in front of people.


I’m coming to understand that change is the ultimate reality.

The beauty of nature thrills me more than ever.


Dianne Vapnek

In an attempt to slow life's quickening pace, I'm writing to share my personal perspective on the aging process, its dilemmas, the humorous self-deception, the insights and the adventure of it all. I spent the bulk of my time in beautiful Santa Barbara, CA, but manage to get to NYC a few times times a year. I've been a dancer/dance teacher and dance supporter almost all my life. For the past20years, I help create and produce a month-long creative residency in Santa Barbara for contemporary American choreographers and their dancers. It's been incredibly gratifying. This year, I decided it's time to retire! Big change. I also now spend several weeks a year in Kyoto Japan, residing for several weeks in the spring and the fall. I've been magnetically attracted to Japan for many years. Now I live out a dream to live there part-time.


  • Manel Ratnayaka says:

    Love the idea Dianne! Bravo! a very creative idea!

  • Ruth says:

    You couldn’t have said these things better.
    I’m setting a blog up for my genealogical research and when I do, we can read each other’s comments on aging, generations, and living in history.

  • Meloni says:

    Thank you for sharing your humorous, healthy, and gracious comments on this inevitable passage.

  • Ron T. says:

    yours is the 1st blog I’ve ever read…..good insights –fun reading
    i know you’ll enjoy your Japan adventure.

    • devapnek says:

      I’m honored to be the first. I always thought you were the writer in the crowd. I still think you could be since it’s so democratic now. I’d love to hear your take on stuff. xo

  • Eleanor Moriarty says:

    love this idea. Shared thoughts and travels within our space of time. old age which is where we have entered has a way of time not truly moving anymore – a lot of seconds.
    please share Japan -I look forward to it D.