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wedding day

Throughout the centuries, great minds have tangled with the meaning of LOVE.  It’s a big mysterious word, yet one that is used frequently and casually in our culture.  Although we all speak of love frequently,  we don’t have many opportunities to immerse ourselves in its radiant glow.

On a basic level if we are lucky, we learn to:  Love our parents, love food, love God, love the sunrise, love Thanksgiving, love our child, love our dog, love the full moon, love a restaurant, love to travel, love to dance, love a movie, love the color green, love a sibling, love our Manolo Blahniks, love yoga, love San Francisco, love the sunrise, love flowers, trees, the ocean, and the Sierras. You get the idea.  We get some bang for the buck from each of these relationships, but can take many of them for granted.

I only want to comment about being in the presence of a universal ritual devoted to love, called a wedding.  It caused me to pay attention to LOVE in a way I don’t often get to do.

We had a small wedding at our home recently.  It was not for a close family member, but for a friend.  It was a privilege to be present and to witness the love that surrounded those present and the spaces we shared.

It goes without saying the bride was beautiful.  The groom was dashing.  The day was spectacular.  The setting intimate and personal.

But, what I will remember most and what permeated everything was the spoken and unspoken celebration of love.

I was aware that this ancient tradition is the highest expression of our humanity.  Before me stood  a young couple, deeply in love, vowing to be there for each other. Their parents, relatives and close friends heard their vows and surrounded them with their own love for each.

I was aware of what a brief moment in time we were sharing together in this fragile world and fragile life.  A sacred moment of beauty, intimacy and hope.

It was a time that seemed blessed, no matter its length.  It was a time of smiles, laughter and tears.  It spoke of the importance of family, continuity and friendship.  Most of all, it was a glorious day for LOVE.

We are born of love; love is our mother.  Rumi

Dianne Vapnek

In an attempt to slow life's quickening pace, I'm writing to share my personal perspective on the aging process, its dilemmas, the humorous self-deception, the insights and the adventure of it all. I spent the bulk of my time in beautiful Santa Barbara, CA, but manage to get to NYC a few times times a year. I've been a dancer/dance teacher and dance supporter almost all my life. For the past20years, I help create and produce a month-long creative residency in Santa Barbara for contemporary American choreographers and their dancers. It's been incredibly gratifying. This year, I decided it's time to retire! Big change. I also now spend several weeks a year in Kyoto Japan, residing for several weeks in the spring and the fall. I've been magnetically attracted to Japan for many years. Now I live out a dream to live there part-time.


  • Judith says:

    You write so beautifully about something so preciousThank You

  • Dianne, I see a book in your future (with your name on the cover, that is). This post of yours really moved me. From the beginning (esp. when spotting Matsuzaki-san’s sculpture), I was curious, waiting with anticipation for something sweet that’d typically make me smile, but the further I read, the more I felt myself really soften deep inside, esp. by the end. What a wonderful feeling to take with me to bed!