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I have been lingering for several weeks now at the foot of the mountain I spoke about in an earlier blog (Top of the Mountain).  I’ve been in a mellow, dull state, most definitely uninspired. Days passed, I napped most afternoons. Early to bed, late to rise.  My husband requests Alexa play the music from Sleeping Beauty to wake me up. I’ve been going through the motions of day- to -day living but feeling little passion for the experiences.  Not depression, not unpleasant, but D U L L.

For several days, the Weather Channel became a mild source of interest and stimulation.  Nothing like watching a super hurricane descend in today’s media-overloaded world.  Like many, I enjoyed the ridiculous antics of the newsmen out in the storms or pretending to be. That too passed. I’ve watched or read about the daily dramas surrounding 45, but have grown weary of them. The country seems to be turning into a giant reality show. The situations and the actors have grown tiring.  I read half a book. My backyard needs attention badly but didn’t get it. Nothing felt particularly urgent.

I read half a book. My backyard needs attention badly but didn’t get it. Nothing felt particularly urgent.

A few days ago, in a half-hearted attempt to organize my digital world,  I began to go through the thousands of digital photos I’ve taken over the years of Japan.  My gaze lingered on many of the images.  My pulse quickened.  The sleeping woman is awakening to life once more.

Yesterday I began to rummage through my closet for clothes to take to Japan on our upcoming trip.  I identified several items as looking “shopworn” a term my mother enjoyed using to describe items that had been worn one too many seasons or had been hanging on the for sales rack for too long.  Come to think of it, maybe the term “shopworn” was the perfect word to describe my recent lethargy.

Today I brought out my suitcase and enjoyed a mild and classic argument with my husband in which I had to justify the large size of the container I want to bring as he gloated that he was only going to travel with a carry-on.  He received only ridicule from me.  I doubt that he was expecting praise.

Today I began to dance around my bedroom again, despite my chronic shortness of breath. Today the chi began to flow once more.

So, get ready world, as Eartha Kitt sang not so long ago, this woman is going to be Back in Business.

Dianne Vapnek

In an attempt to slow life's quickening pace, I'm writing to share my personal perspective on the aging process, its dilemmas, the humorous self-deception, the insights and the adventure of it all. I spent the bulk of my time in beautiful Santa Barbara, CA, but manage to get to NYC a few times times a year. I've been a dancer/dance teacher and dance supporter almost all my life. For the past20years, I help create and produce a month-long creative residency in Santa Barbara for contemporary American choreographers and their dancers. It's been incredibly gratifying. This year, I decided it's time to retire! Big change. I also now spend several weeks a year in Kyoto Japan, residing for several weeks in the spring and the fall. I've been magnetically attracted to Japan for many years. Now I live out a dream to live there part-time.


  • Nancy Gifford says:

    Loved your post but see you may be leaving again soon???

    I hope we get to see each other soon… wow Dianne I went through the exact same thing for a couple of months, I thought I was losing my mind. My regular GP suggested SAME-E (from health food store) to me for I refused antidepressants. within three days it was like a miracle and I am back in full gear again… but it is so scary to go through

    when do you leave? would love to see you both my life got so crazy for the 2 boards I am on are in ED transition so has turned my world a bit topsy turvey though in both cases it is all really good in the end… just takes a lot of effort to get there urgh And ALL I WANT IS TO BE IN THE STUDIO! nag

  • devapnek says:

    I’m afraid I have to steer clear of that wonderful giant french toast. I too have a surfeit of things so I’ll be VERY discriminating if I do decide to carry something back. And shoes take up so much room, but I’m giving up heels because my hip hurts after I wear them. Enjoy every minute in Paris!

  • Judi Wallner says:

    Lethargy must be going around as I’ve felt the same way until I got out my medium size suitcase to pack for Paris. Larry tells me that he no longer wants to deal with the size bag I’d like to take….you never know what may be lurking out there that you’ll have to bring home has always been my argument but that doesn’t carry much weight these days as even I feel saturated with things. I’ll be picturing you eating that delicious giant French toast and I’ll be indulging at my favorite soufflé place. Oh boy… we come!

  • nova says:

    Glad you’re back in business! Emjoy your trip

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