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men:women clothes

An Unscientific Sample of female vs. male attitudes towards clothing and attire

Me:  I care. I like fabric.  I enjoy pattern, texture, color.  He:  oblivious.

Me:  enjoy getting new things to wear. Even a new pair of socks can make my pulse race. He: does not enjoy new things to wear.

Me: happy to give away the clothes I no longer wear.  He:   “going through his closet” is tantamount to asking him to participate in a primitive form of torture.

Me: acutely aware when something seems hopelessly out of style.  He: will not admit there’ s a category called “out of style.”

Me: wears something new at the first opportunity. He:  A new article of clothing usually will die in his drawer or closet.  It’s shunned as a pariah, avoided as long as possible and when possible, forever.

Me: Shopping =Fun.  He: The last activity in life he would chose to do.  never. Nada.

Me:  I know what I like and what I’m looking for when I shop. He: no idea.

In Summary

I’ve become increasingly aware of what feels age appropriate to wear. Comfort rules. Ruffles, short hemlines, shorts and puffy sleeves are out.  High heels are out.

Otzi style clothes1

My husband never has had to cross that line.  He’s always dressed as he damn pleased with nary a concern, as far as I could tell, whether or not his attire might or might not appeal to the opposite sex.  He never dresses to please me. Sometimes I think he underdresses just to annoy me.   Some of it is about comfort, but I think a large part of it is about familiarity.  Nothing in his mind could feel better than wearing a t-shirt he’s had for a minimum of six years.  It’s clean in the sense of being freshly washed, but not in the reality of being stain free.

I think, when it comes to clothing, I’ve had a lot more fun in my life !  (And I can name a lot more colors!)



Dianne Vapnek

In an attempt to slow life's quickening pace, I'm writing to share my personal perspective on the aging process, its dilemmas, the humorous self-deception, the insights and the adventure of it all. I spent the bulk of my time in beautiful Santa Barbara, CA, but manage to get to NYC a few times times a year. I've been a dancer/dance teacher and dance supporter almost all my life. For the past20years, I help create and produce a month-long creative residency in Santa Barbara for contemporary American choreographers and their dancers. It's been incredibly gratifying. This year, I decided it's time to retire! Big change. I also now spend several weeks a year in Kyoto Japan, residing for several weeks in the spring and the fall. I've been magnetically attracted to Japan for many years. Now I live out a dream to live there part-time.


  • Ann Starck says:

    Too totally true – except for last one: When (once every other year) Terry goes clothes shopping, it’s only to get work jeans or T-shirts. Same 2 stores; same style. When I go shopping, it’s usually just a blind wander.. But, style, to Terry? Ha! Comfort, however, is becoming so paramount for me that style doesn’t matter much.

  • Daniel Vapnek says:

    I happen to be wearing a T-shirt I bought 20 years ago in San Francisco. Nary a stain. Unfortunately I have to buy new jeans every few years as my waist expands.

  • kathma99 says:

    LOL! All too true! xo, K